DEPRESSED.

so one thing i do when i'm depressed. sleep. for like an hour or half. napuputol. ewan ko kung bakit. recently, i've been in this roller coaster feeling with someone whom i'm romantically involved. roller coaster ride kasi hindi ako sure kung siya ba talaga ang gusto ko, o siya na ba talaga ang pang-forever ek ek ko. i know it's like too early for realizations na ganun, pero kasi.. i've been through worst. ayoko ng maulit un. and i promised to myself na hindi na mauulit un. weird and self-centered but i guess it gives me the realization of one realistic love.

so the depression starts, and i can't figure it out yet where i will be WILLING to be whole again. i've been through this, pero wala akong kadala-dala. i guess i'm a depression magnet. (what a term.)

yung feeling na you can't breathe kasi yung pain galing sa lungs mo. (aken na description to. walang pakielamanan.) and the feeling na once you stare at somethimg, you will be staring at it for hours. and you want to eat (kasama talaga to.) tapos you want to get drunk. and lastly, you want to blogged it out.

i texted like a dozen of my friends. and guess what they all said..

"sa sunday, manuod tayo ng new moon. tanggal yang depression mo for sure."

that's why i love them.

i was never the makwento one in terms of this field of interest. i was more of the adviser. the word of wisdom friend. the one that you can lean on, pag may load. so i believe that they believe na bibihira ako masaktan. i know daw kasi the in and outs of the relationship, but they don't know that the more practical a person may sound, the less practical this person in her/his relationship. believe me. i can prove it.

so i guess, this is the story for now. next chapter na lang ulit.