bipolar.

so i had a serious talk with one of my closest friends earlier today and recall a lot of moments na naging memorable sameng dalawa. it was fun and somewhat sad na we regret some things and thankful at the same time, cause its the reason why we are this person right now. so anyway, i just had a realization of my life today. 20 isnt a joke of surviving a lot of pressures and trials. i feel like 30 na nga eh. hahahaha :p but it was hard, realizing them all and at the end, you'll say.. 'its not worth it.'

there are these questions rambled in my mind about the different aspects in my life. questions that made me realized and think, na.. 'eto na lang ba to? ganto na lang ba lagi?' and all i can say is.. sometimes or anytime soon, i'll give up.

what if im not happy anymore?

what if im not being myself and im just being a coward all these time?

what if i dont like what my life is going through?

what if.. everything was changed according to what i want?

im usually a loud person. i am my friends' confidantes. pero pano pag problema ko na? how the fcuk will i handle those? and what if i failed? and what if masaktan lang ako?

yes. coward.

=(