diary of a broken heart

this post is dedicated to all those going through difficult matters of the heart!

"diary of a broken heart." this was my planned title for a diary-of-sorts that i wanted to write when i was broken hearted. i thought to myself what if isulat ko lahat ng nararamdaman ko araw araw sa loob ng isang taon, then i'd be able to read it when im healed, and see my journey from a new point of view, from denial to anger to bitterness to hope to healing and maybe it might help future broken hearts out there! but..

i've never had the strength to write it.

siguro dahil sa sobrang sakit, kapag naiisip kong magsulat, nananalo na lang ang kagustuhan kong magmukmok sa isang tabi kaysa mag-effort ako na mag-isip at mapagod magtype. ginusto ko na lang na wala akong intindihin. hanggang sa lumipas ang ilang linggo.. ilang buwan.. i went through all that kinds of emotions, until one day.. i find myself.. OKAY!

1. on advices..

kapag broken hearted ka.. no piece of advice will make you feel better. none. kahit ano walang effect. the only thing that you think will make you feel better is if the one you love says i love you too or still love you, but they wont. hugs will comfort you, concerned texts will make you smile, but no amount of advice will make you feel better. unless! unless, you, yourself, decide to let it all make you feel better. don't be pressured though to follow everyone's advice. kanya kanya lang yan. of the hundred cliché lines thrown at you at an attenot to make you feel better, most will not make you feel better- in fact, some will make you feel worse. but there will be a few major lines, not necessarily given by those closest to you, that will speak to you and touch your heart and soothe your soul. those pieces of advice, you should hold on to it.

2. on prayer.

a broken heart will wake up some days so helpless and wanting just stay in bed all day. some will even go all out in saying they want to die- but of course, you dont really want to die right? a broken heart will wake up some days feeling somewhat rested and peaceful, but with slight fear that they might encounter something that day that will bring back all the pain. whatever the mood a broken heart wakes up in, there is only one thing that can heal all things broken. our lord and personal savior, JESUS CHRIST.

3. on moving on.

dont be pressured! for some it takes weeks. for some it may takes months. and for some, years! but of course no one likes the pain that a broken heart brings. arrrray talaga grabe! but, you have to go through it! there is no short cut. there is no other way. go through it. go and let it out. cry before you sleep! cry when you wake up. cry in the bathroom. cry to your friends. lock yourself in the room. stay in bed all day.cry to your friends. don't talk to anyone for hours. make senti all you want. do it all. don't let anybody stop you. feel all those yuck, disgusting, heart-shattering feelings. curl it all up into this unbelievably sad ball, and one day, when you are ready, throw it all out into the window. it will happen for you. i know you feel it won't, that the day you will be okay will never come. but it will. have faith. it will.