fair-weather friend.

i have the most inconsistent life ever. i had the most inconsistent friends. inconsistent family. and very inconsistent boyfriend.

incosistent friends.as they say, who are your friends is who you are. ganun ba talaga yun? no no. inconsistent ako in OTHER WAY. pero not as a friend. lemme compare my friends before, and my friends now. when i was in high school, i totally believe na immature ako mag-isip. i've proven it. so, lahat ng decisions ko, sablay. from small problems to big problems. kaya hindi basta basta ang high school para sa akin. napakalaki ng nagawa ng high school life ko sa buhay ko ngayon. i have my "reel friends" by then. if they're reading this. im sure na magagalit sila sa akin without asking me why. without even telling me that they read this. that's the way it goes. as i was saying, reel friends in terms of problems. in terms of siding to the truth. and in terms of friendship. im not expecting a lot of them though. lalo na ngayon na magkakalayo kami, the less i expect na they will be there. there are a lot of instances na nasubok ko friendship ko sa kanila and vice versa. first, i thank them for this situation. it was when one of my friends, close friends i should say, did something wrong to me. it was a small mistake anyway, ang pagkakaalam ko, but it did grew so big na talagang sinumpa ko siya. i cried everyday especially na kaklase ko silang dalawa. i cried because hindi ko kaya yung pain na nararamdaman ko and it was so much new to me. noon lang ako nasaktan ng sobra sobra. and i was in my junior year. sa akin sila nag-side. siguro kasi alam nila kung gaano kasakit at gaano kabigat na makaranas ng ganun. and i thank them for that. and no doubt about it. the next test was when we were at our senior year. kaya minsan hindi ko rin masasabi na masaya ang high school life ko. maraming nagbigay sa aken ng traumatic experience. the next was when they knew about what i did. yung nagloko ako. and it involves one of our closest friend. ngayon lang ako mageexplain ng sobra sobra. alam ko kasi hindi sila ganung maniniwala sa akin. they think na niloko ko yung boyfriend ko, which was that time. we were so past out. sobrang labo. they think na niloko ko yung friend nga namin. i have no plans of explaining myself to them actually. pero it involves my life with them inside the classroom. so, nag-explain ako. i know them too much na sa tingin ko, hindi sila naniniwala saken. i know them too much na sa tingin ko, pinaplastic lang ako. and i passed it by. the next test, was when the graduation day is fast approaching. it was when my fcukin boyfriend had a third party WHO was one of our closest friends. it did lasts for few months. pero, pinapabayaan ko lang. i want to take action pag alam kong naagrabyado na ko. and it did happen, the confrontations. and guess what? all they can say is.. "ganun?" they dont even ask the stupid girl kung anong nangyari.. and pinagbabati pa kami. they were not on my stand. kaya wala silang alam. ngayon lang ako nagsalita because this is too much. yes. its too much.

i love them. there's no doubt about it. il do everything just
for them. pero hindi sa lahat ng oras ikaw ang magiintindi sa kanila. hindi na
kami mga bata para sa simpleng tampuhan ay iiyak ka. para sa simpleng dahilan ay
isusumpa mo sila. learn to think as deeply as you can. hindi laging may
magpapaubayang mag-iintindi at tatanggapin na lang lahat ng gusto ng bawat isa.
isipin mo muna kung ano ang magiging epekto ng isang ugali sa samahan. gusto
niyong tumagal tayo. pero hindi kayo gumagawa ng paraan para tumagal tayo.